Layla Saad defines tone policing as; “a tactic used by those who have privilege to silence those who do not by focussing on the tone of what is being said rather than the actual content.” (me and white supremacy, p.46)
When would ‘tone policing’ be leveled at someone?
According to writer Tess Martin, tone policing is a tactic of oppression that works to shut down discussions about difficult topics, such as racism. It is often used to silence Black women, and may include stereotypes of Black women as being angry or aggressive. These stereotypes are based in racism, and were used — along with other notions — to justify slavery. . . .
Tone policing often relies on an argument that a person must be able to address issues in a calm, rational, detached way. Of course, if you are not personally affected by a particular topic, it is much easier to be levelheaded about it. Demanding that others who are personally affected be just as calm as you are is a way to shut down conversation. . . .
Activist Rachel Cargle recently highlighted tone policing in a private message that she received about one of her posts on Instagram. A woman named Linda wrote, “It is hard to impact those who might gain from your many insights when there is a steady, underlying hostility. Perhaps that is part of the message? An angry backlash is anticipated, but I felt it was worth mentioning. If the goal is to reach the widest audience possible, tone matters.”
How Tone Policing Is Used to Silence Black Women, Feb 24, 2021
Tone does matter. That being said, if someone has a point, even in my whiteness I can hear it above their hostility and yelling.
There is a line between refraining from ‘tone policing’ and defending yourself from being verbally and emotionally abused. Does being allegedly ‘harmed’ by white supremacy award someone the privilege to be verbally abusive to another human being? Is it ok for white people like myself to set boundaries against verbal and emotional abuse?
One writer makes the point;
Lately I’ve been disturbed by the tendency among many progressive folks to conflate boundary setting with tone policing.
When I tell people that I have a very strong preference not to be yelled at or called names, they say, “But isn’t that kind of tone policing?”
If it is, then I’ll have to admit to tone policing, because being able to set boundaries in my own space is important enough to me to risk pissing people off. In fact, as anyone who sets boundaries with any regularity knows, it’s a surefire way to piss people off no matter what kind of boundaries they are. . . .
In social justice spaces, people who want to abuse others use the language of social justice to do so. That’s how they fly under the radar of people who would otherwise call them out on the abuse and interfere. . . .
What makes the concept of tone policing so perfect for abusers is that they tend to see themselves as the victim in the situation.
How does Layla Saad view the legitimacy of me setting boundaries for my own mental health? To Layla Saad, I have no boundaries - I am completely transparent to her. She has access to my innermost thoughts;
People with white privilege often tone police BIPOC in their thoughts or behind closed doors [emphasis mine], understanding to do so out loud would be considered racist. However, what exists within can do just as much, if not more, harm than what is spoken out loud.
me and white supremacy, p. 47
To Layla Saad, I have no boundaries; she can read my mind and knows what I’m doing behind closed doors. Moreover my thoughts and privacy are harmful. My criminal(harmful) nature shouldn’t allow me to have any boundaries other than the mental prison cell she has prepared for me.
What is this mental prison cell that my whiteness condemns me to? Complete acquiescence and surrender to Layla Saad’s (and those who follow her) poisonous ideology.
Consider the sad case of Richard Bilkszto;
Bilkszto, who had a 24-year career as a principal and previously taught at an inner-city Buffalo school — and witnessed serious differences in how Black and white students were treated there — didn’t think it was fair to call Canada the greater harbourer of racism, according to his court filing. Citing public health care and a more equal funding system for education, he spoke up.
“To sit here and talk about facts and figures and then walk into the classroom tomorrow and say ‘Canada is just as bad as the United States,’ I think we are doing an incredible disservice to our learners,” he told the class.
Ojo-Thompson is described to have reacted with vitriol: “We are here to talk about anti-Black racism, but you in your whiteness think that you can tell me what’s really going on for Black people?” Bilkszto replied that racism is very real, and that there’s plenty of room for improvement — but that the facts still show Canada is a fairer place. Another KOJO training facilitator jumped in, telling Bilkszto that “if you want to be an apologist for the U.S. or Canada, this is really not the forum for that.” Ojo-Thompson concluded the exchange by telling the class that “your job in this work as white people is to believe” — not to question claims of racism. . . .
Still, the court filings launching these lawsuits paint a picture of how workplace DEI trai”ning relies on coercion and ridicule to force employees to bend the knee to a certain set of racialist, sometimes ahistorical, beliefs. Those who don’t comply just might end up in a struggle session.
Jamie Sarkonak: Principal berated for 'white supremacy' sues TDSB over equity training
What’s my job according to DEI trainers like Ojo-Thompson and Layla Saad - “‘your job in this work as white people is to believe’” — not to question claims of racism”
Welcome to the newest DEI version of the horrible struggle sessions of history.
Layla Saad won’t even allow me to think about anything critical that would question her position. And she claims to know my thoughts.
This brings me to my work as Layla Saad lays it out in the reflection questions. I’ll focus on Reflective Journaling Prompt number 2: “What tone policing thoughts have you harboured inside when you’ve heard BIPOC talk about race or their lived experiences, even if you didn’t say them out load?”
My response: Why do you even ask, Layla Saad? Like God, you claim to know my inmost thoughts and what I do behind closed doors. You tell me. I have no defense against your mean minded bigotry. The only thing I can do in the face of it is RESIST.
Layla Saad, in my whiteness, I resist your bigotry.